Tuesday, August 16, 2011
A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow. ~Charlotte Brontë
I have turned another corner in my life. I can officially empathize with those who have insomnia. I never could understand the impact or how someone couldn't just get sleep.
I haven't had a good night sleep in over a week. There are two major reasons for this sleep deprivation:
1. The wedding is about a month away
I'm not sure why either of these need to keep me awake at night, but lately they sure are doing just that. I lie in bed obsessing about my job and the current "opportunity" that has been presented to me. Once I find myself finally ridding my mind of work, I move on to wedding planning. The wedding planning is a positive thought, but I get all these great ideas and then fixate on the fact that time is running out.
In an attempt to calm my mind before bed, I've been reading Lutheranism 101. I am learning a lot and actually wondering how much my brother (Pastor O) must know about LCMS. It really fascinated me last night as I read the book. I know he went to school and all, but as I read this book (and since I kinda had the misconception that I learned all there is to know about God in school) I realized just how much I have yet to learn that he already knows. Perhaps I should turn to my brother a bit more often when I have questions about our religion. Nah...I wouldn't want to let on to him that he does know more than me. ;) Thank God I have a great Pastor to help with those questions.
Anyhow, even as I read, my mind wanders off to these other two topics. It's really frustrating. I've tried the whole list idea or reminding myself that these things can wait for me to obsess about in the morning. Yet, I still continue... The crazy part is, with wedding planning, I don't think you ever really run out of ideas or little things you can add. Once again, I need to remind myself what is important. The important part of that day won't be the card box, guest book, or even the dress. We are going to pledge our commitment to each other in the church in front of God, our family, and our friends. Perhaps I need to put something like that on the ceiling. You know, some kind of a quote up there that glows in the dark. That way, as I'm staring at the ceiling obsessing, I can be reminded of what is really important. God.